Let’s face it. Being an artist is hard. Even harder is telling people about you as an artist.
As a lifelong hardline introvert I get jittery whenever I try to strike up a conversation with a total stranger or present myself to a social gathering. I’ve never had friends nor could I keep the very few that I do manage make. My only true friends have been the ones I would cook up in my mind.
But it has come to my attention that i cannot stay hidden in this closet forever, especially now that I have made it my goal to become a full time artist. With internet and social media nowadays I have absolutely NO excuse to try and put myself in n the spotlight.
So I have steadily taken steps to get myself out there through various social media platforms: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube- any where I felt that I can make my mark. I would post sketches, work in progress photos, even videos of my work process that I painstakingly edited and compiled myself. I’ve even started streaming myself on Twitch, and while I am garnering a massive 0 viewership it nevertheless has given me some confidence. I’m even forcing myself to talk out loud even if it’s just to myself (course I informed my parents beforehand about this so they won’t keep peeking into my room to see if I’m okay and that I’m not going cuckoo). I’ve also got into gaming as a way to draw more audience to my channel and hopefully lead them to check out my art.
And how is it going so far? Well I have seen some more traffic in recent months and even managed to sell few paintings, although they are mostly fan art. Yes I’ve been doing a lot of fan arts lately I figured that is most popular and draws more audience, but now that’s another story…
Have you ever taken a step back and look around you and realized what fantastic mess you are standing on?
I have no affinity for neatness. Sure once in a while I would take some time to straighten up the clutter in front of me when I have nothing else better to do, then drop the neatness mode and make a mess all over again that goes on for days or even months without stopping. This happens especially when I buy a new item to add to my piling collection of junk that I had forgotten about ages ago. Much of my spending habits could have been curbed if I had taken some time to sift and search through every nook and cranny of my space and find that one sketchbook that still had many empty pages to be filled or a pen that still has plenty of ink to fill 100 pages. No being a lazy bone that I am I assume that I’ve lost it somewhere and head out and buy a replacement.
Probably the only times I actually do take the effort to stop and clean up is when I have run out of the creative juice and in need of the search for a pickerupper. Time to time I flip through my piles of old sketchbooks and past art projects from school and beyond for some ideas. That is when my eyes would open and I can actually see the mess that I had long ignored. That is the first step- the second step, the one I often stumble on, is making the time to clean up the space.
I have really bad handling of time, you see. I often complain and complain that I do not have enough time to get anything done when in reality I had more than enough. It’s the matter of pushing my big heavy butt off the couch and getting a move on. It’s happened so many times I’m not laughing anymore at how much I had missed.
Now with this COVID-19 pandemic forcing many of us indoors there is NO excuse to take this opportunity to follow through with that ‘spring cleaning’ my space I often mulled over. It didn’t stop me from trying, of course, but eventually I settled the time and days that I would organize.
Starting with my desk, it looked like a jungle of snakes running around with all these USB cables and peripherals for my computer smooched in this tiny corner desk space. When it got to the point that I coudn’t figure out which cable belong to which that I decided to get a desktop shelf. Though in this case instead of buying, I made it using old cardboards and newspaper, as you can see below:
So the desk looked clean as a whistle, finally. Now, about these piles of papers, books, and other itty bitty toys I’d stashed away into oblivion of the closet and shelves (even under the bed), and in anticipation for more additions in the future, I got Dad to help put up some extra shelves:
Now with the dust settled I can say I have more space for storage and easier access to things I need to use. I’ve even managed to toss out some empty boxes I had not bee aware of before which contributed to more mess as well as some items I no longer have any use for, though it took a bit of courage to kiss and say goodbye. I always think I would use it sometimes in the future, then forget about it and it would sit there collecting dust. As I once heard, “Close your eyes, throw it away, and forgetabouit.” There is this feeling you get after a days worth of cleaning your room-not only the room is clean, but I feel clean too. And more energized and ready to tackle on new stuff or tasks I have long stashed away.
So the lesson learned: organization really matters. And not only with your room, but your way of life as well.
Whether it’s this current COVID-19 crisis or your own mental breakdown troubles can come knocking at our doors at any time any where, whenever it darn pleases. And we as humans have no control over it. So what to do about it?
Fight it? Well, how do you fight a storm? You will only end up slipping across the wet grounds and get a bruising or worse, not to mention soaking wet.
Do nothing and ignore it? After all you cannot reason with a storm. Just sit through it and wait for it to pass may seem more logical and less painful, but still does not solve anything.
It’s the same deal as when you are dealing with the Devil inside you. There is no gain from fighting it or ignoring it because it never sleeps. It will hound you and push you around until you break, which is exactly what it wants. Instead you have to live with and work with it, using whatever smarts you have to resist its powers and turn it around to your own benefit. Same goes for the storm of life.
So most every one of us are sitting at our homes, cut off from all human contact except your own family, no where to go since everything is just about closed. Some even have lost jobs and running thin on essential needs. And left and right we are bombarded with one bad news after another, the incompetence of our current world leaders (won’t put names, but you can guess) not knowing when or if a cure is even on the way, and various uncertainties of the future when we can finally get out from our homes.
But moping around in your undies won’t really get you anywhere, will it? As mentioned, if you cannot avoid it, make it work to your benefit.
Like some people may take this as an opportunity to reconnect with their loved ones the way they could not before because of work and/or other life obligations. Others might use this sudden day off from work as a way to catch up on non-work related duties like cleaning the house or working the garden, or even binge watch away those talked about TV shows or movies you had missed. Still another way can be to take up on that hobby you always wanted to try or might have given up before.
It can be done. As Theodore Rosevelt once said, When You Start, You’re Already Halfway There. (Actually I cant remember if he said that or someone else, anyone?) Starting is the hardest part, at least it had been for me. And once I do start, I can keep going and going like the Energizer Bunny.
We can always find some positives out of the negatives, if we just start looking. And when we maintain that mindset we can weather through any storm.
It is a widely known myth that artists are ‘crazy.’ Vincent van Gogh is the unwitting poster daddy of the crazy artist. True, artists stand apart from ordinary people in the way they think and present themselves. Often artists will go against the norms of social behavior and status quo and use the title ‘artist’ to justify their actions. But there are plenty of artists out there that are just like regular folks and thrive in their life and practice.
So which category do I stand on? Actually that’s tough to say. I guess it really depends on what others think. What I might consider normal might be the opposite to others, and vice versa. But I don’t expect to check into an asylum any time soon like poor old van Gogh did, unless I lose my mind and lose all control and sense of thinking. At least for me Art keeps me sane and on steady ground, my escape from real world surroundings when I need a break away from it (and believe me, I’m sure everyone needs such break from time to time).
I admit, that for the past six to seven years my art has been rather dark and depressing, muddled in blacks and whites with muted colors and many looking like a schizo was in town. However you might think of it, I can compare it to Picasso’s Blue Period. But I aim now to move away from the darkness and walk on toward more bright and happy tone. I realized I want more colors in my life and I aim to pursue it in the coming months. Especially with this COVID19 virus scare keeping us indoors I can definitely use some brightening up. I will keep you updated on that progress.