Whoa! And you thought I forgot about this tale, right? No I gotta finish it, not even this cold of mine shall keep me from the duty like a soldier–
Well skipping through all the boring drama plots, I’ll just get to the gist of it. Basically, I didn’t win over my parents’ objections to my joining the army after high school. But I didn’t go down that easily; I tried hard, I mean VERY HARD, to convince them how this can be a great opportunity for me, to get my lazy ass self straightened out, be a responsible adult I should be (I really was sure they’d bite that one), I could be independent socially and financially. (After they often worried about that for me. See, I was a total underachiever, unlike my two older sisters and younger brother, who were all smart and capable of handling themselves. But me, not very much. )
But alas it did not work. Not even when I agreed to attend a two year college after high school before I consider joining the few and the proud. In the end, I just didn’t get it my way. (In fact I don’t remember ever winning an argument of any sort with anyone. If I were to attend a debate is fail miserably)
So here I am, the poor bumming artist, the future looking more and more bleak with each tick of the time. But when I think back about that doomed quest to become part of the country’s finest in uniforms it occurred to me. My thinking back then was pretty warped to the nth degree. I was immature and reckless then ( still am yes) and I don’t think I knew better. I would play it over and over in my head what life would have been like if I had gone ahead and became a career military woman, and comparing to how far I have come since and having attained some degree of life’s wisdom I think I would not have survived.
How? Well the military is all about structure and conformity. There are rules one must abide by as member of the government’s guardians of the country, and to uphold the group’s honor and image in the public eye. But alas I am not the one to follow rules. And even if I did manage to, after a while it drives me nutters. That’s why I get in trouble all the time, in and out of the house. Of course if it was the military it wouldn’t end with just an earful of scolding from Mom. And through the years I have gone I’ve learned there was far far more to the life in the military than what those lanky-ass recruiters had told me, that there are dark secrets nobody wants you to know that shook me. And there was an experience from one of my sisters who actually had joined the Navy (of course parents objected but she stuck it out and went anyway, yeah she had ambition that I hadn’t) and from the stories she told it sounds like a miserable existence.
I recall a former friend who had been to the Army during the Iraq conflict (and really, he was the last guy I ever expected to join) and he had bluntly told me that I was not army material. When I think about it he was probably right. Knowing what I know now I am glad that I didn’t beat out my parents or had the guts to take that huge leap of fate, an I don’t think I can imagine how I would have turned out. For one I wouldn’t be writing about this, or have this blog open. There was a saying I’ve heard over and over throughout the years- stick with what you got and make the best of it. For me that is art. And I would not trade it for anything. Not even the fancy Marine uniform.
There you go. Hope you enjoyed my ranting for now. I’ll get back to what I do best soon. Good night and peace out.