The Monster Inside Me: Darkness

2014 Monoprint on BFK Paper 11x15

Monoprint on BFK Paper

Living with cancer, or watching someone close to you struggling with he disease, is one of the most depressing experience you can ever have in your life. You feel like you are stuck in a corner surrounded by empty darkness, and there seems to be no end or rather no light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been feeling that way for long time, ever since Mom got sick with cancer. In fact, it’s lot worse than the darkness I had previously gone through after that one brush with love ended in disaster twelve years ago. I don’t think I ever had the need to go on Prozac back then, as I am now. It’s just that bad, yes. Caring for a sick person is really not easy, no walk in the park. I knew that before but it’s not until you have it handed down to you that you really can understand the depth of the darkness that sweeps over you. But I’m a bit concerned that there is more to than the current state I am in right now, I might be catching something worse than depression. I am taking up on then thought of going to see a psychiatrist. It’s the troubling events that had unfolded in my life over the last few years that have really brought out the worst in me; and this time this “darkness” isn’t going to pass by any time soon…

7 Comments on “The Monster Inside Me: Darkness

  1. So sorry about your mom and what you are both going through. My son’s girlfriend’s grandma just died of cancer today. It is very sad indeed. She raised her granddaughter, so she is losing a “mom,” too.


  2. Really sorry your mom has cancer and you’re having to go through that. I’ve been depressed for years and I know it affects everyone differently, so I’m not going to say I know how you feel because I don’t. I only know how I feel and it sucks. Therapy and blogging are what keeps me alive. Don’t feel ashamed to go talk with a psychiatrist or psychologist, they really, really do and can help. I hope your mom gets better and I hope you get to feeling “better” as well. Good luck on your journey. Take care.
    Peace and hugs,


      • You’re very welcome. I hope things at least ease up for you and, of course, eventually get better. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now, it has to get better. I’ll keep you and your mom in my prayers. Take care.


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