The Monster Inside Me: Cry

2014 Monoprint on BFK Paper 10x15

Monoprint on BFK Paper

Here my first piece using a whole new technique; well, not all new. Back in college I took a class on printmaking and I really liked it so much I incorporated it into many of my senior projects. It’s been over ten years now since I’ve last used it; now I’m taking this opportunity to put them in my mix. This one is called monoprinting- you spread ink on a palette and you simply press the paper down over it to make the print. Pretty simple, and easy to learn, since no special equipments are required, just ink and palette and a good paper. Sometimes you can draw on the paper while it’s still pressed down on the inked palette, and when you lift up you can see the drawings done on other side of the paper with all the ink marks.

Here I was inspired by Picasso to draw more abstract figure in distorted, expressive form, as a way to emphasize the torment caused by cancer fog the patient as well as for the loved ones who witness it. I am clearly drawing from experience of having to watch my mom struggle with the demon that torments her with fear and anxiety that often accompanies the cancer diagnosis. Mom had already been struggling with anxiety issues long before getting the news for the first time three years ago. Occasionally she would one day just break down and cry hysterically, and while she doesn’t actually cry out blood as the figure in the picture shows, that just shows you the extent of her conditions. It’s especially worse when after she undergoes chemo and she is literally zapped of energy and strength, she has hard time standing on her own or even raise a spoonful of food to her mouth. If really leaves you raw mentally, though I may not comprehend fully since I never had chemo.

Have you been a cancer patient of know someone who does? Does this look familiar to you?

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