The Monster Inside Me

The Monster Inside Me: Bound

2013 Ink, charcoal, oil pastel on Bristol 11x17
2013
Ink, charcoal, oil pastel on Bristol
11×17

This month I am focused on something deeply personal, and trying new styles and techniques. Here is the first in the new series I titled “Monster Inside Me.”

No it’s not some cutesy monster fantasy type, rather its a metaphor and allusion to a condition I am in.
I might have mentioned once here, back in 2010 my mom was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma that started growing in her colon, and almost immediately she went into chemo lasting six months, then the cancer went into remission and everyone was so relieved. Well the joy was short lived; in between the sudden bout of shingles, the world stopping news at the beginning of 2012 that my dad was diagnosed with gastric cancer, followed by a recurrence of her cancer this time it was growing in her neck, then the long grueling session of stem cell transplant, only for the cancer to reoccur AGAIN less than a year later and having to undergo another round of chemo up to the present, there were the side effects reactions in between the chemo session and the post chemo recovery phases that unless you’ve had chemo yourself you would not comprehend. It was even hard for rest of us to watch, especially for me because I’m her designated caregiver and I spend the most time with her. It was a blur; up until now the story of someone having cancer and the burden of the one having to care for them was only known just as a story you seen on TV or heard from friends. Never was I prepared for that story to become US; and its a story I will tell with each piece of the art I present here for the next few weeks.
For this first piece I stuck with the usual style I’ve been working with. I wanted to show the inner turmoil one goes through when he or she discovers that life-altering news. It is like you’ve just been given the life sentenced and you are forever bound to the cycles of despair, pain, agony, misery, the list goes on and on. It’s especially difficult when it hits you so suddenly, when you least expect it, and you are totally unprepared, as we were.

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